wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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