My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
