Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
