So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
