i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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