There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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