The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
