Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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