why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there was a trapeze. enough said
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize