...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
