so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
