can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
