im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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