its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
