I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
