if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
