Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
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