talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would fuck him just for his dog
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
