it was like eating out sand paper
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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