I didn't shave. On purpose
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
