Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
