being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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