is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
