His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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