New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
nutella sex= disaster
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize