I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
