dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
