She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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