Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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