Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
