READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
