He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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