I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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