Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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