yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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