Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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