all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
