I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
