is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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