Pants 0. Shit 1.
She said her name was "party"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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