ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
