The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
