Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize