I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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