Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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