Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
