He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Found the puke drawer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
