I saw his package. It spoke to me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
