Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
