All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
