she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
