Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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