Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
