Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
