are you so shy because you have an std?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
