some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize