dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
