I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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