I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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