butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
