I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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