He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.