the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.