$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest