OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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