Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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