Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
