First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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