He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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