I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
