dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize