So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
