i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i would punch a child for taco bell
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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