Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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