Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so let's talk penis.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
